A love letter 🤍

Mothering Sunday isn't easy for everyone, so I wanted to write something grounded. It's easy to choose self-incrimination over self-care, and it can be exhausting to hold it all together. Please share with any woman you know in need of a little TLC this week 

Behind the scenes

I love the joyous explosion of daffodils in the garden. Against a slightly muddy backdrop they are so bright and cheery. We have two beautiful little girls who we home-educate and they are enchanted by flowers. They'll rush in and excitedly announce the crocus they planted have popped up and will pause and actually smell the roses and sweet peas they've grown. I often feel too busy to stop and enjoy the beauty on my own doorstep. My to-do list taking precedence over the simple moments that actually make up one's life.

And I don't believe I am alone. I am both curious and apprehensive to know how other women manage. Would I be inspired to know what goes on behind the scenes in another woman's world, or would I feel, well... a bit deflated as my internal critic gets active with a load more content to create from. I wish I baked fresh bread everyday, but more often than not, the washing pile seems to go from molehill to mountain and I forget to eat. 

Juggling work, domesticity, finding time for the occasional bath, not walking the dogs often enough or far enough whilst simultaneously dreaming of keeping a few sheep, or ponies or making my own clothes has become normal.

There are also the emotional and hormonal challenges of modern-day life. Too little sleep, too much screentime.. too little time to slow down.. too much time spent feeling not good enough, confident enough or organised enough!

Tenderness & Heartache

I also know I am very lucky. For other women, a chaotic but fun family life may still be dream. Some women long for something that appears to come easy to others. That is never true, and we can never know the trials and feats another must climb in pursuit of their dreams.

Much heartache is often carried silently but Mothering Sunday can make pain scream loudly. Not being able to conceive, losing a baby or child, feeling adrift with post-natal depression or grieving the estrangement with or the passing of your own Mother may feel unbearable.

Needing to be productive, clear-headed and emotionally sensitive to others can feel exhausting, especially when we are none of those things to ourselves. Feeling out of our depth and emotionally bereft can be incredibly isolating.

It can also be many years sometimes before we allow ourselves to feel the full force of our grief or suffering. It is not only physical loss that women (and men) mourn. There can be a quiet pull on the spirit for something to have been different. Perhaps, with hindsight and maturity, we regret certain choices or realise there might have been a different way if we'd been more confident or honest with ourselves.

Nourished not neglected

When overwhelmed with emotion it can be hard to welcome it all and find the courage to both forgive ourselves and hold ourselves to account. We need to be our own best friends. Before Mothering Sunday lands, I wanted to share a few of my favourites to help heal raw wounds and soften heartache.

White Peony Root, He Shou Wu & Cordyceps: My three three favourite tonic herbs. White Peony is a dream for all phases of a woman's cycle. He Shou Wu nourishes the kidneys - the source of our creativity, fertility and essence. Cordyceps tastes super good and is especially helpful when you've been running on empty and need a little transformative magic in your life

Schisandra: These beautiful little berries help restore balance, known to "calm the heart and quiet the spirit". It is said that we store grief in the lungs. Schisandra helps strengthen the lungs, allowing us to breath through trauma. Grief is a natural response, it can also be intensely paralyzing. A miscarriage, the loss of a relationship or a divorce can shock and shatter the heart. Herbs can help through the grieving process by supporting your whole system (mind, body and spirit) to find a sense of wholeness again

Pearl Powder: I don't have time to escape to a spa-like beauty salon (plus we live too far away from pretty much anything) and I am incredibly picky about what I put on my skin. So most beauty and skincare products are a definite no-no. But a simple DIY face mask of Pearl powder, water (or rosewater) and raw honey is something I can achieve. If I do it before having a shower, there's also no additional cleanup required! A few pages of my favourite book, whilst white faced, with a cup of Jiaogulan is my version of heaven. 10 mins out is all it needs to take sometimes to let go of the small things so we can open our hearts and begin looking a little deeper under the surface

Moon dust: this isn't just for night-time! I have this during the day when things are just toooooo much - relaxing, settling and easy

Miso soup: I call this my hug-in-a-mug. If you're too busy to stop, all you need to do is boil a kettle and stir in a spoonful of paste. Instant nourishment that will settle your blood-sugar and stop you reaching for something sweet when you need to keep going. When we can eat properly, even if it's whilst on-the-go, we give our body the resources it needs to keep building health, instead of stripping it of essential nutrients and further depleting ourselves

Simplicity over complicated impossibility

A long soak in the bath or putting your feet up may be impossible notions and the thought of them might actually add more stress to your system. Instead, look for the small everyday rituals that feel obtainable - a soothing cup of tea, enjoying a spoonful of honey straight out of the jar, or choosing to explore alternatives to unhealthy quick fixes.

It is often the very simple moments of kindness that allow us to break self-destructive habits and cycles of perpetual stress. It is essential to do something different if you wish for change internally or externally. Self-destructive habits are usually short-term coping strategies that have become long-term patterns following dis-ease, trauma, loss or un-ending stress. If next weekend might be difficult, I hope you find a delightfully simple way to feel nourished to help unlock whatever is written next in the stars for you.

🌼🌼🌼 Have a beautiful week ahead 🌼🌼🌼